Many people have a strong opinion on the importance of self-esteem in children. Some people have a negative opinion and believe too much emphasis is placed on self-esteem today. Other’s believe strongly that self-esteem development is crucial in children.
The truth is that both parties have a share in the truth. There is probably too much emphasis on self-esteem today and self-esteem development is crucial. However middle ground can be found between the two groups. The emphasis shouldn’t be on building self-esteem but rather helping children learn and grow so they naturally develop a feeling of worth and value.
Self-esteem is a major key to success in life. The development of a positive self-concept or healthy self-esteem is extremely important to the happiness and success of children.
Self-esteem is how we feel about ourselves, and our behavior clearly reflects those feelings. If you child has high self-esteem she is likely to act independently, assume responsibility, take pride in her accomplishments, tolerate frustration, attempt new tasks and challenges, handle positive and negative emotions, and offer assistance to others. If your child has low self-esteem he will avoid trying new things, feel unloved and unwanted, blame others for his own shortcomings, feel (or pretend to feel) emotionally indifferent, be unable to tolerate a normal level of frustration, put down his own talents and abilities, and be easily influenced.
Parents have the most influence on their child’s self-esteem. Most parents do not realize how great an impact their words and actions have on their child.
Be Quick With Praise - When you feel good about your child, mention it to him. Parents are often quick to express negative feelings to children but often don’t get around to describing positive feelings. A child doesn’t know when you are feeling good about him unless you tell him. He needs to hear you tell him that you like having him in the family. Children remember positive statements we say to them. They store them up and “replay” these statements to themselves. Make a point of giving your child words of encouragement throughout each day. Look for situations in which your child is doing a good job, working hard, trying a new challenge, overcoming a difficulty or displaying a talent.
Be generous with your praise – Use what is called descriptive praise rather than the general, such as “good job”. For example, during a recent swimming lesson my son was expected to swim the length of the pool. He was frightened and didn’t think he could make it. When he successfully accomplished the goal I told him I was proud of him for two things. One for trying even though he was afraid he’d fail and two for pushing himself to reach his goal.
Teach your child to practice making positive self-statements. Psychologists have found that negative self-talk is frequently the root cause of depression and anxiety. What we think determines how we feel about ourselves and those feelings determine how we behave. This is the reason it is important to teach children talk to themselves in a positive manner. You can start them off by asking directed questions.
Avoid Name Calling – While it is often important for parents to be critical, the focus should be on the action you would like to see rather than the child. Rather than calling a child a slob for keeping a messy room focus on the desired action, which is to sort clothes and toys into their proper places. Encourage the child by saying something like “I know you can get this place ship shape by dinner” and reward them with specific praise “You did a great job cleaning up your room”.
Always Speak Of Your Child As If They Were Listening - Many parents do a wonderful job of building up their child’s self esteem while spending time with the child. Then later they undo all their good work and let the child overhear some negative comments. It is difficult to explain away or undo this damage as you may well not even know when it occurs. Obviously parents need to communicate with each other about their children and adults often need to vent their frustrations. Just make sure when you do so that your child is not able to overhear. Even a child who is apparently concentrating on play will perk his ears when he hears his name.
If you follow these methods then your child’s self esteem will grow.
Our Martial Arts Classes in Rugby are directed towards effective Self Defence. Adult Classes incorporate simple to learn techniques that can be performed by virtually anyone, after all, Self Defence must be simple to be effective, especially in a high Stress situation like that in an attack. Ju Jitsu is an Art which forms the basis of Judo, Karate and Aikido, therefor, involves Take-Downs, Throws, kicking and Punching and Joint manipulations.
Our Martial Arts program for kids in Rugby is a fantastic introduction to Martial Arts, giving children the best possible start. To kids, Martial Arts has to be fun in order to learn the skills which can be so important in life. The program involves Safety Awareness, Personal Values, Fun Fitness and Martial Arts Techniques. We have 2 major tasks every week – Firstly to ensure the kids have enough fun to want to return the following week and secondly to provide enough value for the parents to want to bring them back the following week. If we keep doing this then kids just keep coming back )
According to the FBI, four women die everyday as a result of domestic violence and about 130,000 women report that they’ve been victims of rape or attempted rape annually. Because of statistics like this, many women enrol in self-defence classes to learn the skills they need to defend themselves.
The thing is, a short-term self-defence class may not address all of the areas you need to be able to fully defend yourself. While martial arts classes won’t specifically train you for combat and fighting, they will give you the ability to defend yourself if you ever find yourself in a situation where you need to practice self-defence. The best part is that this self-defence isn’t always physical. What most people don’t know is that in a good martial arts class you’ll learn a variety of skills to help you gain the awareness, peace and physical conditioning you need to be a stronger person, in all aspects of your life.
Confidence. All the physical defence skills in the world won’t help if you don’t have the confidence needed to use them. That’s the beauty of martial arts training. In order to successfully train a martial art, you need to have your mind and body in tune with one another. This self-awareness gives you the confidence your need to control and defend yourself if needed. You’ll be able to handle everyday and extraordinary situations without losing your temper. You’ll be able to stand your ground. You’ll appear to be (and will be) more confident ñ and people who appear to be confident are less likely to be the victims of violence because they don’t look like easy targets.
Focus and Awareness. While training martial arts, you need to focus and concentrate on what you are doing so that you don’t injure yourself or those around you. This focus and concentration carries over into other aspects of your life as well. Soon, you’ll find yourself better able to concentrate on work, school and home. You’ll even find yourself being more aware of your surroundings which can help you avoid potentially harmful or violent situations.
Peace. Training martial arts will also give you an inner peace that can change your life. First of all, to effectively train martial arts, your workout will always be changing. You’ll never get bored with your workout because it will always be challenging to your abilities (both physical and mental). In addition to that, training martial arts is a great stress reducer. You probably already know that regular physical exercise can reduce physical stress, but what you don’t know is that martial arts go one step further to reduce emotional stress as well. Activities such as martial arts that require you concentrate on your movements and your core strength can give you full stress relief in one activity.
Strength and Conditioning. When you train martial arts, you use your entire body. You cannot use just one muscle set at a time. The exercises are always changing and evolving to give you the maximum out of each training session. Martial arts also increase your flexibility which is great because people who are flexible suffer fewer injuries, have better posture and are better able to relax their muscles.
If you are interested in learning more about how martial arts can help your self confidence, please contact our location in Rugby at 07954 718823 or admin@ju-jitsu-rugby.com to set up a free 2 week trail orientation.
Help me, Im fat, lazy and afraid of a bully.When the World Turns VIOLENT! I bet you run.Are you martially in danger?
All titles to bring on that chilling fear inside and solicit a response – so read on..
ITS DANGEROUS OUT THERE
Its dangerous out there and especially for you..
The enemy may be next door and you dont know it but you got to have the guts too look. What can you really do once you see some violence or get scared or worse because you receive a bashing or king hit – do you hide in your house?
You know that given a situation to be a hero and stop a crime, terrorism or violence you’ll be able to step up or chase after them etc – or maybe you’ll cower or be the victim.
The danger today is maybe not too obvious to you but you better hone your sensors or youll get hit without seeing it coming.
PHYSICAL COMPETENCE
Have you ever seen raw attack or someone getting ‘owned’? Just search google for “martial street fights” – “martial owned” Watch those movies and cringe!!
Kung Fu, Boxing, dancing, balley, incompetance? What will you offer to your attacker?
I can judge I am probably half the strength and endurance form 10 years ago, how about you?
Can you throw a punch or even stand steady on one leg? can you do a round-house or even give a kick to the knee? Ever heard of a combination?
MARTIAL TRAINING TO LIVE
Training is hard..really hard. The most hard is to get started and its down-hill easy from there. What you need is a martial arts machine – something new and exciting to get you off your fat ass.
Search for it – martial arts machine – http://www.google.com/search?q=martial+arts+machine
Whats important now is to do something, start with brief excercise, get into stretching, shadow box, then step up and train hard.
GO to the local phone book and look up kung fu or karate. Then give them a call, go along or take your kid.
CONCLUSION IS ACTION
Life is not scarey but maybe your lack of skill, self confidence and personal competance is making you petrified.
Be pro-active and look, then choose and participate in action whether alone with a martial arts training machine or go to a dojo.
If you are not liking what you see in the mirror, afraid to go down a dark street, scared of a potential confrontation then train now.
Are you a busy executive or mom trying to do everything? Are you getting so stressed out that it seems like you’re not accomplishing anything? If so, you can use martial arts to combat that stress! Many of the skills and techniques used in martial arts training are the same skills and techniques you can use to rid your body of stress.
So, you might be wondering how a skill that is commonly depicted as a fighting tool can actually reduce stressÖ Some of these common images of martial arts aren’t completely accurate. The cartoons, video games and movies showing martial arts as a fighting tool are only showing you one small facet of the art. The skills necessary for training martial arts can teach you how to balance your mind and body and give you the confidence you need to face the stressful events in your life.
HOW DO YOU DO IT?
One of the techniques used to create this balance is using breathing and meditation techniques to help you connect and control your mind and body. There are different types of meditation: sitting, standing, kneeling and moving. Find the position that works best for you. Here’s how to start.
1. Breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth.
2. Breathe deeply. To make sure you’re breathing deeply enough, put your hand on your stomach. If your stomach isn’t pushing out as you breath in, you’re not breathing deeply enough. Try to pull the air all the way to your navel before you let it out.
3. When you breathe out, keep your tongue on the roof of your mouth. This keeps helps minimise your saliva and swallowing.
In the Chinese way of thinking, breathing like this is completing a path: The mouth is a gate and the tongue on the roof of the mouth allows your vital energy called Qi or Chi (both pronounced chee) to circulate throughout your body. Chi is what helps your mind and body connect.
After you’ve gotten the physical aspects of breathing down, you can start counting your breaths ñ this is a form of meditation that many experts teach during stress management courses. Start short and work your way up. 1. Begin with a count of 4 as you breathe in and a count of 6 as you breathe out.
2. As you go along, extend the in and out until you can get a count of 6 as you breathe in and up to 24-30 as you breathe out. Just remember that you want a short, deep breath in and a slow, long breath out.
WHY DOES IT WORK?
This mind and body connection through breathing works because stress is a mental state that manifests itself as a physical symptom in your body. This physical symptom then acts as a trigger to tell you to do something about it. As you become more aware of your body, you’ll be able to notice the trigger before it becomes something unbearable such as a severe neck problem or a migraine headache. Once you notice your trigger, you can stop and do something about it such as practicing a breathing technique. For example, I used to get stress-induced migraines that would leave me out of commission for a whole day. Now, I’ve come to realise that it actually starts in my lower back as a small thing. If I let it go, it works its way up to my head. Now, when I noticed this trigger in my back, I stop and do my breathing. It allows the issue to surface so I can deal with it and I don’t have to deal with a migraine.
We all have those moments from time to time when we experience stress (some more frequently than others). The overall benefits of training martial arts for the mind and body (including self-awareness, self confidence, focus, concentration and physical conditioning) all lead to reducing that stress. You owe it to yourself to start relieving the stress in your life with the skills taught through martial arts. The best place to find these skills is at a fine martial arts school. Why not give it a try? You have nothing to lose and everything to gain. To make it even easier, I’ll help you get started. Just contact me and I’ll send you my free report on how to pick a martial arts school
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