Increase Confidence and Self Esteem through Martial Arts – It’s always great to receive testimonials from students and parents. Here’s one we received just yesterday.

Hi Malcolm

“My  10 year old son has been attending lessons for approximately 5
months, during this time I have noticed a vast improvement in his self
esteem and  his confidence has grown immensely.  He will now put
himself forward  to  volunteer to demonstrate moves in front of the
class, this is something that would have been unheard of before. He
previously had a slight co-ordination problem, this now is not  such
an issue, he feels brighter and happier about himself, his abilities
and his fitness. He also feels much more confident in standing up for
himself, verbally, resolving issues to his satisfaction, rather than
walking away and being very upset for periods of time.

Thanks for transforming my boy”.

It’s immensely satisfying to receive such feedback. It makes our job at Ju Jitsu Rugby so rewarding to know we are making such a postive impact on peoples lives.

The benefits of Martial Arts are phenomenal! There are very few activities available for children that can boast such a wide range of benefits ranging from Improved Fitness and Health, Improved Strength, flexibility, Co ordination and Balance. Then there’s the benefits of learning Personal Values, Increasing Safety Awareness, Learning potentially life-saving skills and Anger Control. It’s great for Personal Development for people of all ages.

Train Hard – Train Smart – Fightwize

Sensei Malcolm Bale – Instructor

Bullying has always been a part of growing up. But how a child deals with it and the repercussions of dealing with bullying have changed dramatically.  Incidences of bullying vary in severity.  One thing that’s certain is repeated attacks whether verbal, physical, written, or on the internet erode your child’s fragile self-esteem.  The CDC linked bullying to isolation, drug use, violence, and suicide!  But your child does not have to be a victim. Follow these tips…

The assault can be verbal or physical, either way the first line of defense remains the same. It’s one word… Confidence!  Here’s why; Bullies choose their victims much like a criminal would choose a victim. They go for the easy and obvious target.  So if your child looks like a kid who will get bullied, guess what, they’re going to get bullied.  On the other hand if your child radiates self-confidence they are less likely to be a victim, it’s almost that simple!

Body Language is Key

Your child needs to walk with their head up; their shoulders square, and make eye contact with people.  Just doing so, even if your child needs work on their self-esteem, will keep bullies away from them. This is easier said than done, but it can be learned. So having them change their body language (what they are saying non-verbally) will have a huge impact.  Teaching this can serve as a quick fix. However, going to work on their self-confidence will have a greater long-term affect on keeping bullies away.

Embrace Your Role

Children get their first layer of self-confidence from parents.  The love you show your child and the time you spend with them gives them their feelings of self-worth.  It has been said that the number one role of parenting is to develop a self-confident individual.

Speaking Up

Teach your child how to speak up clearly when they first meet someone.  Teach them the importance of making eye-contact when they talk to you.  Get them out of their comfort zone and have them explore new things.  The more you have them confront fear and discomfort the more confident they will become.  The first few tips are meant to stop bullying before it starts. Now here’s what your child can do if the bully chooses them…

Create A Boundary When Confronted By A Bully

The next layer of defense is to create a boundary.  Children can protect themselves with an assertive body posture: Feet apart a little, one foot in front, shoulders square, chin up, eye contact, and most importantly, hands up as if making a “Stop” Gesture!  We call this our self-defense stance.  Its purpose is to communicate neutrality, awareness and, assertiveness. This stance is designed to get them out of trouble.

Using Words Properly

Finally, your child will have to use their words.  Simple phrases and commands said in an assertive voice will tell the bully that they will not be a victim.  Simple commands like; “Stop, Back Off, Back Away!” Said in the right tone will stop the bully in his tracks!

Safe Self-Defense

Of course if none of the above works (and the truth is nothing works every time) then your child will have to defend themselves. But only if and when their safety is threatened.

Defeating the Cyber-Bully – Don’t Give Cyber-Bullies Ammunition

Text messaging and social network sites open up a whole new avenue for bullies. Sit down with your child and be sure they understand not to give the bullies any ammunition. Make them aware the minute they text someone or send an email those words can be taken out of context or used against them. Absolutely under no circumstances should your child ever send inappropriate photos of themselves or allow anyone else to take photos that go against good judgment.

Cyber-bullying can be stopped with confidence and respect just like physical bullying. As you can see dealing with a bully has its challenges. There is no one way that works every time. However, when your child develops high levels of self-esteem and self-confidence a bully’s words or actions will roll off  like water off a duck’s back

Sensei Malcolm Bale

Head Instructor – Children’s Self Defence and Safety Awareness Program

www.ju-jitsu-rugby.com

Bullying is a significant problem in schools and is associated with a range of problems, including poor mental health and violent behaviour. Being bullied can damage lives. It lowers self-esteem, increases anxiety and can cause serious depression.

Come on! It is just part of growing up! This is what an adult might say to a child if a child complains about being teased at school. Teasing is not usually harmful when done in a friendly and mutual way, and when both kids find it funny. However, when teasing becomes hurtful, unkind, and constant — it already crosses the line into bullying.
Bullying is a deliberate act. It is a desire to hurt or threaten or frighten someone. These usually verbal harassments can come in the form of words or actions. It can be done by one person or more, and can vary in the degree of severity. It can be an on-and-off thing, but it usually involves repeated actions by a child or a group of children. It can range from hitting, shoving, name-calling, threats, and mocking to extorting money and treasured possessions. Some kids bully by shunning others and spreading rumours about them. Others use email, chat rooms, instant messages, social networking websites, and text messages to taunt others or hurt their feelings. It can be one or a number of these, however, verbal abuse is the most common form of bullying.

Being a victim of bullying can cause emotional and psychological damage. The effects of ongoing bullying can be long-term, with the harm to the health and well-being of the bullied person lasting into adult life. It damages self-esteem, increases anxiety and can cause serious depression. Bullies are more likely to continue with the aggressive behaviour and engage in delinquency and violence.
Research shows that bullying can have long-lasting effects, but particularly when it begins in adolescence. People subjected to either verbal or physical bullying are known to be at greater risk for developing depression, anxiety disorders or to behave violently. But not everyone reacts in this way. Children bullied for the first time before they hit puberty seem to get over it, but those who are victimised for the first time late on in puberty seem to become more aggressive or are more likely to turn to drink as a means of coping. People who were bullied revealed slightly higher levels of stress, but while those bullied earlier in life seemed to respond normally to provocation, people bullied for the first time late in puberty are more withdrawn and sensitive to violence.

Bullying is a significant problem in schools and is associated with a range of problems, including poor mental health and violent behaviour. Other studies have shown that bullies are more likely to engage in antisocial behaviour later in life, particularly assaults and rapes. A research also shows that victims of bullying experience headaches, stomach aches and colds more often than students not involved in bullying. Research into the source of bullying from the perspective of the bully has also begun to focus on vulnerability. Many researchers have suggested that bullies are often themselves victims of bullying and that they may be repeating a pattern of the learned abuse. Equally, it has been suggested that they may be projecting dislike or anger with themselves onto others.

If a child approaches an adult and talks about being bullied, focus on offering comfort and support. Children are often reluctant to tell adults about bullying. They feel embarrassed and ashamed that it’s happening. They worry that their parents will be disappointed. The best solution in all cases is strong social support, whether from friends, family or school. Those with no one to share their problems with usually suffered the most.

True, that bullying is part of growing up, but bullying can be as upsetting for a child and a family, however, there are a lot of people and resources that are available to help.
If you have any questions or concerns then please do not hesitate to CONTACT US. Together we can make a difference!

Sensei Malcolm Bale – Ju Jitsu Rugby