Archive for the ‘self esteem’ Category

Boost Your Child’s Self-Esteem

Monday, May 14th, 2012

Many people have a strong opinion on the importance of self-esteem in children. Some people have a negative opinion and believe too much emphasis is placed on self-esteem today. Other’s believe strongly that self-esteem development is crucial in children.

The truth is that both parties have a share in the truth. There is probably too much emphasis on self-esteem today and self-esteem development is crucial. However middle ground can be found between the two groups. The emphasis shouldn’t be on building self-esteem but rather helping children learn and grow so they naturally develop a feeling of worth and value.

Self-esteem is a major key to success in life. The development of a positive self-concept or healthy self-esteem is extremely important to the happiness and success of children.

Self-esteem is how we feel about ourselves, and our behavior clearly reflects those feelings. If you child has high self-esteem she is likely to act independently, assume responsibility, take pride in her accomplishments, tolerate frustration, attempt new tasks and challenges, handle positive and negative emotions, and offer assistance to others. If your child has low self-esteem he will avoid trying new things, feel unloved and unwanted, blame others for his own shortcomings, feel (or pretend to feel) emotionally indifferent, be unable to tolerate a normal level of frustration, put down his own talents and abilities, and be easily influenced.

Parents have the most influence on their child’s self-esteem. Most parents do not realize how great an impact their words and actions have on their child.

Be Quick With Praise – When you feel good about your child, mention it to him. Parents are often quick to express negative feelings to children but often don’t get around to describing positive feelings. A child doesn’t know when you are feeling good about him unless you tell him. He needs to hear you tell him that you like having him in the family. Children remember positive statements we say to them. They store them up and “replay” these statements to themselves. Make a point of giving your child words of encouragement throughout each day. Look for situations in which your child is doing a good job, working hard, trying a new challenge, overcoming a difficulty or displaying a talent.

Be generous with your praise – Use what is called descriptive praise rather than the general, such as “good job”. For example, during a recent swimming lesson my son was expected to swim the length of the pool. He was frightened and didn’t think he could make it. When he successfully accomplished the goal I told him I was proud of him for two things. One for trying even though he was afraid he’d fail and two for pushing himself to reach his goal.

Teach your child to practice making positive self-statements. Psychologists have found that negative self-talk is frequently the root cause of depression and anxiety. What we think determines how we feel about ourselves and those feelings determine how we behave. This is the reason it is important to teach children talk to themselves in a positive manner. You can start them off by asking directed questions.

Avoid Name Calling – While it is often important for parents to be critical, the focus should be on the action you would like to see rather than the child. Rather than calling a child a slob for keeping a messy room focus on the desired action, which is to sort clothes and toys into their proper places. Encourage the child by saying something like “I know you can get this place ship shape by dinner” and reward them with specific praise “You did a great job cleaning up your room”.

Always Speak Of Your Child As If They Were Listening – Many parents do a wonderful job of building up their child’s self esteem while spending time with the child. Then later they undo all their good work and let the child overhear some negative comments. It is difficult to explain away or undo this damage as you may well not even know when it occurs. Obviously parents need to communicate with each other about their children and adults often need to vent their frustrations. Just make sure when you do so that your child is not able to overhear. Even a child who is apparently concentrating on play will perk his ears when he hears his name.

If you follow these methods then your child’s self esteem will grow.

Malcolm Bale – Martial Arts for Kids in Rugby


Martial Arts Training is More Than Just Self-Defence

Friday, March 23rd, 2012

According to the FBI, four women die everyday as a result of domestic violence and about 130,000 women report that they’ve been victims of rape or attempted rape annually.  Because of statistics like this, many women enrol in self-defence classes to learn the skills they need to defend themselves.

The thing is, a short-term self-defence class may not address all of the areas you need to be able to fully defend yourself.  While martial arts classes won’t specifically train you for combat and fighting, they will give you the ability to defend yourself if you ever find yourself in a situation where you need to practice self-defence.  The best part is that this self-defence isn’t always physical.  What most people don’t know is that in a good martial arts class you’ll learn a variety of skills to help you gain the awareness, peace and physical conditioning you need to be a stronger person, in all aspects of your life.

Confidence.  All the physical defence skills in the world won’t help if you don’t have the confidence needed to use them.  That’s the beauty of martial arts training.  In order to successfully train a martial art, you need to have your mind and body in tune with one another.  This self-awareness gives you the confidence your need to control and defend yourself if needed.  You’ll be able to handle everyday and extraordinary situations without losing your temper.  You’ll be able to stand your ground.  You’ll appear to be (and will be) more confident ñ and people who appear to be confident are less likely to be the victims of violence because they don’t look like easy targets.

Focus and Awareness.  While training martial arts, you need to focus and concentrate on what you are doing so that you don’t injure yourself or those around you.  This focus and concentration carries over into other aspects of your life as well.  Soon, you’ll find yourself better able to concentrate on work, school and home.  You’ll even find yourself being more aware of your surroundings which can help you avoid potentially harmful or violent situations.

Peace.  Training martial arts will also give you an inner peace that can change your life.  First of all, to effectively train martial arts, your workout will always be changing. You’ll never get bored with your workout because it will always be challenging to your abilities (both physical and mental).  In addition to that, training martial arts is a great stress reducer.  You probably already know that regular physical exercise can reduce physical stress, but what you don’t know is that martial arts go one step further to reduce emotional stress as well.  Activities such as martial arts that require you concentrate on your movements and your core strength can give you full stress relief in one activity.

Strength and Conditioning.  When you train martial arts, you use your entire body.  You cannot use just one muscle set at a time.  The exercises are always changing and evolving to give you the maximum out of each training session.  Martial arts also increase your flexibility which is great because people who are flexible suffer fewer injuries, have better posture and are better able to relax their muscles.

If you are interested in learning more about how martial arts can help your self confidence, please contact our location in Rugby at 07954 718823 or to set up a free 2 week trail orientation.

Sensei Malcolm Bale – Ju Jitsu Rugby

Increase Confidence and Self Esteem Through Martial Arts

Wednesday, February 29th, 2012

Increase Confidence and Self Esteem through Martial Arts – It’s always great to receive testimonials from students and parents. Here’s one we received just yesterday.

Hi Malcolm

“My  10 year old son has been attending lessons for approximately 5
months, during this time I have noticed a vast improvement in his self
esteem and  his confidence has grown immensely.  He will now put
himself forward  to  volunteer to demonstrate moves in front of the
class, this is something that would have been unheard of before. He
previously had a slight co-ordination problem, this now is not  such
an issue, he feels brighter and happier about himself, his abilities
and his fitness. He also feels much more confident in standing up for
himself, verbally, resolving issues to his satisfaction, rather than
walking away and being very upset for periods of time.

Thanks for transforming my boy”.

It’s immensely satisfying to receive such feedback. It makes our job at Ju Jitsu Rugby so rewarding to know we are making such a postive impact on peoples lives.

The benefits of Martial Arts are phenomenal! There are very few activities available for children that can boast such a wide range of benefits ranging from Improved Fitness and Health, Improved Strength, flexibility, Co ordination and Balance. Then there’s the benefits of learning Personal Values, Increasing Safety Awareness, Learning potentially life-saving skills and Anger Control. It’s great for Personal Development for people of all ages.

Train Hard – Train Smart – Fightwize

Sensei Malcolm Bale – Instructor

Parents Would Do a Better Job

Wednesday, November 9th, 2011

Do you think parents would do a better job of teaching Basic Martial Arts Program to their own kids?

I personally think that most good parents would do a far better job than most Instructors these days for many reasons. Firstly in this information age all the information you need to find is readily available and easy to find. A Kids Martial Arts Program should include several areas such as Safety Awareness, Personal Values and Fun Fitness and the Martial Arts Techniques themselves should be very simple. Information required by young children is a little different to the information required by older children and certainly to information taught in adult Martial Art classes. The trouble is most programs  do not include these elements and for most families they are the most important areas they were looking for in the first place.

Not everyone wants to join a Kids Martial Arts Program for a Competitive Sport but to find a great activity where they can learn some essential skills. A kids program has to be loaded with fun, it’s how they best learn. Many kids join a program and end up leaving shortly afterwards. The other problem is the sessions can be too long or too frequent, it becomes a chore for all involved and both the parent and child’s enthusiasm soon fizzle out. Kids really need a short blast of real fun and excitement to ensure they want to return for more fun the following session. Not only does that make a good learning atmosphere but it creates a great connection to an activity which could last a lifetime.

When it comes to Safety Awareness no one cares more than the parents themselves and nobody knows their kids better than the parents.

You as Parents can ensure you get all the right information and also ensure your child gets all the attention they need.

Go and watch a few Kids Martial Arts Classes and see what you think for yourself , you’ll find my points very interesting. If you are really fortunate, you’ll stumble across a fantastic Club with a great program and it’s problem solved. If you are struggling to find a good club or some useful information you can pass on to your children, feel free to contact me directly.

All The Very Best

Sensei Malcolm Bale

Low Self Esteem –

Sunday, March 13th, 2011
Low Self Esteem IS Definitely A Solvable Problem.”

Low Self Esteem is not something that you are born with…….and it is not something that is set and unchanging throughout your life.Low self esteem is a fixed and negative frame of mind that you have about yourself or some aspect of your personality.

That’s all it is…..a fixed and negative frame of mind…..and that fixed and negative frame of mind is built up from negative personal experiences and thoughts from your past.


  • An emotionally or physically abusive relationship.
  • Extreme embarrassment or humiliation.
  • Failure.
  • Negative people putting you down.
  • Pressures of life.
  • Some difference that others poke fun at

Many types of negative experiences can be at the roots of low self esteem.

And as you go through your life with low self esteem that fixed and negative frame of mind will affect everything you do.

It affects pretty much everything – the decisions you make,  your relationships, the career you choose and also your physical and mental health too.

So although low self esteem can be simply defined, the effects of low self esteem can be very complex and far reaching.

It can lead to a life half lived……

And each new disappointment or upset that you suffer in the future will only add to and strengthen those negative fixed frames of mind.

It’s a vicious circle…….

But what I want to tell you is this……

The main thing that you must realise if you want to improve your self esteem is that it is   possible to break free from all of that.


Check This out to Find out More –



The Complete Self Esteem Workbook